I believe I have reached a conclusion as to why New Year’s resolutions end up failing; I’ve done meticulous, scientific research that consisted of me thinking about it for five minutes and it seems to me that the biggest problem is the things we resolve to do aren’t any fun. At all. You resolve to no longer eat the food that you love most in the world? Obviously that’s going to fail.

I think it’s time we start a resolution revolution. Let’s normalize resolving to do things that we will enjoy, as opposed to not doing things that we may enjoy but maybe aren’t best for us.

I’ll go first. I resolve to listen to more Tom T. Hall in 2024. It won’t improve my health any, but it certainly won’t make anything worse. In addition to that I intend on spending significantly more time petting our coonhound Merle. He’s a pretty good dog and I think he’s earned a few more scratches behind the ear every day.

I doubt I will become a gym rat or anything in 2024, but I can certainly commit to watching more football next fall. I won’t neglect work or my family or anything, but who needs to read a book on a Monday night when there are people half your age chasing each other around to see who can give the most concussions?

I also resolve to teach my kids more of the important things in life, like ensuring they learn the beauty of BBQ and sharpen their sense of humor on a healthy dose of Jerry Clower. I’ll foster in them an appreciation for the arts through compelling cinema like Lonesome Dove and Smokey and the Bandit. 

Maybe this trend will catch on; perhaps this time next year the world will see how different I am for having resolved to have a good time and laud me as a pioneer. They’ll hang portraits in the courthouse and erect statues in my honor.

 And even if they don’t, you still can’t beat a year filled with BBQ and good music.