Reaching a marriage milestone
Michelle Blaylock, Mom's Corner
This week my husband and I will reach a milestone in our marriage. We will have been married to each other without divorcing, killing, maiming, or otherwise causing bodily injury to each other for 20 years! Now I call that a milestone-especially if you read today's headlines.
Truthfully, I'm not really bragging. When John and I married we expected it to last. We didn't plan on a divorce. Huh? No, I'm serious. We knew people who married who almost seemed to plan on a divorce.
They went into the wedding with the attitude of, "Well, if it doesn't work I'll just leave." That, my friend, is planning for a divorce. Now, before my computer gets clogged with e-mail, yes, there are legitimate reasons for divorce.
My anniversary made me think about my own wedding. Ironically, my oldest daughter loves to watch this show called "Bridezillas." These are women who want their weddings to be perfect and have lost sight of the purpose of their wedding. They become domineering, mean-spirited, hateful, want-everything-my way-perfect women. The purpose of a wedding is to stand before your Heavenly Father, your family, and friends and say vows and promises to the person you love. You do want it to be special, but there is no reason to turn into a witch over it! I asked my husband if I had turned into a Bridezilla. He just smiled and said, "Of course not! I married you didn't I?" OK.
I have to say our first year was one our toughest. Let me explain. You see, John slowly began to change. At first, it was little things like he would get upset because I forgot to do something. Things began to get worse. One morning I accidentally overcooked his egg just a little and he became furious! He grabbed the plate yelled something about cooking, slammed the plate into the sink, broke the plate, stormed out the door and left for work. I just stood there and thought, "What on earth happened to him?"
I was late for work myself and didn't have time to clean up the mess, so I just left it and went on to work. When we got home that night he acted like he didn't remember anything about it. I was really confused.
A few days later we were getting ready for bed and he was looking for his favorite sleep shorts and couldn't find them. He got mad at me and punched the wall! He eventually calmed down, apologized, and we talked about it.
The next morning he had another episode over something. I went to work praying for an answer.
At the time I babysat and cleaned house for a family. When I got to work that morning I turned on the news and it just happened they were doing a report on how some medication can cause behavioral changes when used over long periods of time. John's high blood pressure medication was listed. I immediately called the pharmacist and I told him what I suspected.
He said, "Well, that's a possibility, but only if he's been on it for over two years. How long has he been on it?" My reply was five years. Pharmacist replied, "I bet that's your problem. Call the doctor immediately." The doctor changed his medication and my wonderful husband was back!
We had a very wise pastor tell us one time that marriage isn't 50-50. It actually takes 100 percent from both partners. It takes both giving everything of themselves to make a marriage work. He's right.
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