By Staff
Michelle Blaylock, Mom's Corner
I have friends who joke about being "temporary" widows. You know like fishing widows, hunting widows, football widows, baseball widows, etc. However, hubby and I attended a family life marriage conference one time that changed my view on the "temporary" widow outlook. The speaker at the conference said that hobbies like these that take a hubby away from his wife and family should be considered mistresses.
Yes, I said mistresses. You see, a mistress is anything that takes a man away from his wife and family.
It can be another woman, a hobby, a car, a lawnmower, alcohol, drugs, or whatever a man chooses to do instead of spending time with his family. I'm not saying husband and wives shouldn't spend time alone.
Everyone needs that alone time, but when a hobby or whatever starts to take over is when the problem begins.
Now, that having been said, I have to confess that my hubby from time to time has had a mistress. In fact, we still call our computer "the mistress." Hubby adores computer tactical games.
He can literally spend hours on the computer playing those games. It drives me nuts! I've even considered throwing our computer out the nearest second story window at times.
Well, hubby has a new mistress. It's called paintball.
In case you haven't heard of this wonderful past time, it involves paintball guns that shoot balls of paint out of a gun using CO 2. In all honesty it reminds me of little boys playing cops and robbers – only on a much bigger scale. However, I must admit that shooting at your husband as he runs across the backyard can be imminently satisfying. Hitting him with the paintballs is even better!
Of course, there are other things that take hubby away from the family. Like business trips, which he, unfortunately, doesn't have much control over.
I really do hate it when he has to go on a business trips for a couple reasons. The first reason is obvious. I just hate him being gone, because it means I'm the only "adult" in the family all the responsibilities of the kids, household, etc are mine.
The second reason is a little more hidden. It's because every time John goes on a business trip something bad happens. No, seriously. When he's been gone on business trips I've been hit twice in the van and hit a rock wall in the van due to oil on the road. My son cut the top of his finger off. I broke my ankle. I've had two major migraines that put me in the hospital.
Our brand new car engine "blew up." OK, I'll admit I'm a little paranoid, but can you understand why?
To keep my sanity, I've had to work out a system when hubby leaves. First of all, I make sure I keep my to-do list updated, so I know exactly what has to be done. Secondly, I try to not schedule appointments, to make simple meals, and stay organized -at least as organized as this family ever is. I also treat us to one special meal like ordering pizza or grabbing some fast food. Hubby is also very good about trying his best to make sure none of his jobs are left to me while he's gone. For example, he'll make sure he's paid all the necessary bills before he leaves.
I also try to work hard to keep my mindset on the positive and look at hubby's away time as an opportunity to do things I've been putting off, like move some furniture, possibly paint a room, clean a closet or get rid of something of hubby's that he'll never miss – um usually, never miss. John always says he hate going out of town because he misses us and never knows what he's going to be walking back into when he comes home. I'm not sure about that last part. I don't know if it's a positive or a negative. I think I'll claim it as a positive and move on.
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