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Hartselle Enquirer

I wonder what they watch in space

By Staff
Leada Gore, Editor
It's rare in the Gore household to go see a movie unless it contains the words "Star Wars," "Harry Potter" or "Lord of the Rings" in the title. So, I was excited recently when Greg and I decided to go to the movies and, best of all, I got to pick what we would go see.
For some reason I've yet to determine, I opted for "War of the Worlds," the new Tom Cruise movie. Normally, I opt for comedies, but I heard this movie was good and thought Greg might enjoy it more than anything set in turn of the century England.
We headed off, dropping down the wad of cash it now requires to be admitted into the movies. He went to buy popcorn and a drink – something I think may require a second mortgage – while I smiled with the knowledge of my contraband candy squirreled away in my purse.
We sat through some very loud previews of movies I'm sure I will never hear about again and then sat through the long movie.
I can summarize it quickly for you (Caution – spoiler alert): aliens come to Earth to take over our planet; Tom Cruise runs around trying to escape from the aliens; there's lots of bright lights and loud noises; Tom Cruise runs around some more; aliens die because they are allergic to our planet; Tom Cruise runs around some more until he runs into his family. The End.
We got back in the car, rather disgruntled we had spent so much to see so little.
"I will never understand why there are so many movies made about mean aliens," I said. "Why don't they make a movie about nice aliens who visit and decide to just hang out at the beach?"
The alien discussion continued, until we settled on the topic of if we think there are aliens sitting in some space movie theater watching a film about humans invading their planet.
"I doubt anyone would want to watch a movie about humans," I said. "What would the movie be about? Would we land on their planet and then start griping about how things sure are a lot nicer on Earth? The entire movie could focus on building the first McDonald's on Mars and then the Earthlings would get mad because someone did something or said something we didn't like and we would start throwing rocks and before you know it we would blow up the entire planet."
"That doesn't sound like a very good movie," Greg said. "Of course, War of the Worlds wasn't a very good movie, either."
"No, it wasn't," I agreed. "I bet it won't play well on Mars, either. I, for one, would be offended if they cast Earthlings in that light. I'm sure there's some alien anti-defamation league or something."
"I bet the popcorn is cheaper on Mars, too," Greg said.

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