Charles O. 'Toby' West
Leada Gore, Editor
Dear Dr. Chris Kundala of Cape Town, South Africa:
Thank you for your fax I received this week. It is certainly generous of you to offer me, a complete stranger, $4.35 million dollars just for helping you set up a bank account in the United States. I must admit I was taken aback when I received your facsimile this week (by the way, my name is Leada, not Leeadia, but I'm sure that was just a simple mistake) but I am certainly interested. Just so I understand what you're asking, I thought I would run through a few facts as you presented them in your letter. First, I see that you are the director of the South African Department of Minerals and Energy and that you got my name from a representative of the South African Export Promotion Council whom I apparently met at a trade show. That's a little strange as I haven't attended any trade shows or met anyone from South Africa, but I didn't want to dwell on the small points here.
In your letter, you mention you have $14.5 million you are looking to deposit in a foreign bank. It seems you came across this money by over-invoicing a foreign contractor (foreign! I would stick it to them, too) and now, because you are limited by the South Africa Code of Conduct (I had no idea South Africa was so strict!) you have to put the money in a US bank.
I still can't believe you're offering me 30 percent of your $14.5 million if I will just call you and let you direct me in setting up a bank account so you can deposit my money.
That should work out fine, as I already have a checking account and can probably just give you all my information to it and save the hassle of setting up a new one. We can save the $9 monthly fee if we just use my current account and heavens knows even millionaires have to save their money.
And don't worry, I will be sure to stick to your advice about keeping all this confidential. I can see how someone with your high position in the government would need to keep things such as this secret, given the South African Code of Conduct and all.
So, Mr. Kundala, I have faxed to you all my banking information. I included all my credit card numbers and Social Security number just to speed things along for you.
Again, thank you. I am thrilled to be asked to do this for you, a complete stranger, especially since I was just contacted by a government official in Ethiopia with a similar offer several weeks ago. I'm sure you will be faster than Ethiopia in getting the money. I sure hope their $14.5 million gets here soon. I've written one $14.3 million check and I don't think the shoe store is going to wait much longer for its money…
Leada (aka Leeadia) Gore