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Hartselle Enquirer

My dream house is nearby

By Staff
Leada DeVaney, Hartselle Enquirer
I've been in the house-hunting mode for about, oh, since I moved to North Alabama. I've looked at tons of houses and always managed to find something I didn't like about them. Still, I persist, convinced that by the end of the summer I will be in my new house.
My needs are simple: I want a jacuzzi tub, walk-in closets and a pretty yard. How difficult can this be?
And then I came across an article in a Birmingham paper on Monday. It seems my dream home has been sitting in Shoal Creek – a subdivision located in north Shelby county – all along.
The French-chateau style house has 23 bedrooms and 22 bathrooms, a movie theater and a driveway landscaped to look like a guitar.
It was owned by former MedPartners CEO Larry House, who said he spent $26 million and three years building and perfecting the estate.
In 1997, MedPartners hit hard financial times and a failed merger cost House $56 million and now, his golden palace.
And while I hate to capitalize on someone's misfortune, this seems like too good a deal to pass up.
It seems they are auctioning off this big house, which tax appraisers are estimating is worth $10 million. (I know. You're thinking why did someone invest $26 million into a home that's appraising for only $10 million? Maybe that's why the house is no longer Mr. House's).
For your $10 million, you get lots of neat things. In addition to all those bedrooms and bathrooms (certainly at least one has a jacuzzi tub), you also get 11 fireplaces and an 13-car garage. There's 35,000 square feet of climate-controlled space, plenty enough for my shoes and purses. There might even be enough room for a couple of guest to come visit.
They are auctioning the house April 5 from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. with a second auction planned for April 6 from noon-5 p.m. To get a tour of the house, you have to bring with you a $100,000 certified cashier's check.
In other words, don't be drop by wearing your shorts and flip-flops and expect to be able to use the restroom.
"We're not giving public tours," auctioneer Ted Tzavaras told the newspaper. "Otherwise every pickup truck loaded up with ice cream-eating kids'll be pulling into the place."
Good. Keep the great unwashed out of my future abode. I don't want a bunch of kids tromping all over my fancy carpets and leaving their sticky fingerprints on my gold-leaf covered columns.
A man's home – or a woman's home – is her very expensive castle.
P.S. Does anyone have $10 million I can borrow?