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Hartselle Enquirer

GOP is single person's place to be

By By Leada DeVaney
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the desperation of women who appeared on the television show "The Bachelor."
The premise of the show was a bunch of women appearing all vying for the affection of one, lone bachelor. The bachelor ended up choosing one of the "lucky" women as his future bride.
As the saying goes, if I'd only known then what I know now…
It appears female-kind has been looking for love in all the wrong places, at least according to a letter I received last week.
The letter was from Brad Gooden, chairman of the Montgomery-based Young Republican Federation of Alabama. The letter was your standard, join-our-group type of thing, at least until you got to the third paragraph.
That's when things got interesting.
After extolling the group's mission to "get a Republican elected to office," Gooden went on to talk about the club's other benefits.
"We have social activities such as fundraisers, networking socials, and national conventions in exciting places… If you're single, it is the next best place to meet new friends besides your place of worship.
"I know for a fact that the Young Republican women are better looking than the Young Democrat women. For example, Bo Derek vs. Janet Reno. I have overheard the ladies say the same thing about us guys. For example, Tom Selleck vs. Danny Divito."
Yep. That's really what the letter said.
As a single person, I know I was intrigued. Who knew there was a wealth of singleness, apparently good looking, all sitting around in the local Republican party meeting?
Apparently John F. Kennedy was wrong.
Forget "ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." Apparently, the motto should be "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what hot babes might be involved in the whole process."
The idea of meeting people is a pretty good thing, according to Gooden.
"I have even met President Bush three times through my involvement with Young Republicans. I still haven't washed my hands," he said.
He didn't mention if Bush fell into the hot babe category.
I wish Mr. Gooden well. I'm sure he's an eager young man who's just all full of GOP-goodness.
I don't think I will be attending his meetings though.
After all, I always thought Danny Divito was kind of cute.